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What is the difference between a kink and a fetish?

Sexual expressions are beautiful and complex. What one person finds excessive or even disgusting, another person might be willing to pay a fortune for, is only a small fraction of the human experience.

Actually, having another sexual interest is not a bad thing. While you may be ashamed of your sexuality, things that make your socks crumble may actually be a very common problem.

For example, if your jam is a little sexual obsession with bondage, leather fetishes, or some pounding games, that’s fine! You can find someone who has the same desires as you and can play sex games with you, especially if you’re looking in a handy local playboy community. There are also many quirky communities around the world who want to have you.

Definitions of perversion and fetishes can be somewhat subjective, as the experience of perversion can vary from person to person. Maybe you had a relationship with a former partner of yours. He bites your feet, sucks your toes the right way, and makes your brain go numb.

But when it’s done by someone else, an amateur toe-biter, if you will, all the magic is gone and there’s nothing there. You may like connoisseurs who feed on their feet in your sexual routine, but if your next beloved friend doesn’t have the same sexual perversion as the last, you’re not going to be ruined by not having it. Does this mean you have a foot fetish? Not necessary.

Take John Michael Williams, owner of Tykables, a fetish store that sells adult diapers to those who like to be treated like babies. Williams actually wears adult diapers all the time for comfort. In an interview with Healthline, Williams said:

“I don’t think it’s my fetish because so many different aspects of the ABDL (adult baby diaper lover) community attract me. The only real sexual aspect is being attracted to a particular type of underwear. I associate it with underwear Fetishes are linked. Seeing handsome guys in briefs or diapers, whatever it is, is seeing handsome guys in panties, just a very special type.”

What is a kink?

What exactly is a kink? Well, it’s a sexual attraction that goes beyond what your culture or society considers 3354, for there’s no better description – “normal.” For example, kissing is a behavior that most people engage in, so kissing is not considered a quirk.

The kink doesn’t have to be strong to be sexually satisfied. Thinking that The Metamorphosis is equated with a BDSM event excludes a lot of other fun, unique, and delicious ideas. Food games during sex are an example. It might be like eating grapes, raspberries, cherries, and blueberries nearby during foreplay, or pulling out chocolate sauce and turning your partner’s muscles and curves into new attractions in candy heaven. As Dr. Rosa Torrisi, a sex therapist at the Long Island Sex Therapy Institute, explains, “Kink is when someone enjoys sexual activity that occurs consensually with themselves or a partner…this is often considered outside of mainstream sexual activity. thing.”

Types of kinks

Each kink has its own wonderful flavor, but some are similar. For example there are some kinks in being seen by others while being sexy; these include sexual acts such as voyeurism, group sex, or sex in a public place, which can lead to being caught.

There are twists based on power and control, such as BDSM, where one party voluntarily causes the other to suffer pre-negotiated pain and discomfort within established boundaries.

There are role-playing based quirks like age games where dads/moms/parents take care of their little boys/girls/innocents of any gender (all adults are age of consent).

There is a twist based on the idea of ​​being caught. It can be sex in the office, bathroom or fitting room. There are also novelty-based quirks, such as sexual gratification from strangers.

Basically, humans are smart horny creatures, and the largest sexual organ in the human body is the brain! Regardless of your gender and sexuality, you can always use your brain to show your partner what you’re really having fun with.

What is a fetish?

A fetish is a quirk that moves beyond the realm of sexual interests and preferences into the realm of needs. Like sexual kinks, a fetish can be an action (such as having sex in a public place), an object (such as a piece of clothing), or a body part (such as a foot).

For example, having a stockings addiction means you can’t be aroused unless your partner is wearing stockings — and sometimes even a specific type and/or color of stockings.

Or love your feet – which means you get sexual gratification from sex by playing with your feet or someone else’s. Fetishes tend to move into the more extreme realms of behavior, borderline obsessions, and things that may require choosing the other to be normal in a partnership (such as water sports or blood games).

Types of Fetishes

Fetishes, like kinks, can range from relatively childish to very intense. Fetishes do not necessarily have to be sexually intercourse to provide fetish-like sexual satisfaction. Simply getting involved, such as being stomped on by very bold and beautiful heels, can make a heel-obsessed person despair.

The most common fetishes can even be the immobilization of body parts, such as foot or toe fetishes. It could also be an obsession that has some effect on others, such as a fetish for a breeder. This involves one person feeding the other, and people gain satisfaction as the food companion gains weight over time. If you have a particular itch that’s hard to catch, you can see if it’s on this exhaustive list of fetishes.

Other fetishes may involve extreme clothing, such as bringing a full-length latex suit (latex fetish) into your sexuality, or wearing giant animal clothing (furry fetish). Sometimes a fetish may involve experiences that you can only do once and may not experience, such as a vore fetish (the desire to be consumed or consumed by someone else), or something that involves an appendage of sexual fantasies, such as adulthood Tentacles of sex toys (tentacle fetish).

The difference between the two

The core difference between a quirk and a fetish is that you can get rid of the quirks in your life if you want to. You can’t get sexual arousal without some kink involvement, and it could be a sexual fetish.

For example, if you like ass and you only get aroused when you play, then you probably do have an anal fetish. If it’s something you really want but probably don’t have, that’s probably the problem. Dr. Torrisi breaks down the difference into “is it something someone likes to do, or something someone has to do for sexual pleasure”.

If you are concerned about your sexual health or have trouble coping with your sexuality and/or fetishes, you may consider seeing a sex therapist or coach. There is nothing wrong with your sexual pleasure. If you are experiencing psychological distress (i.e. judge yourself harshly for a certain sexuality, or think you have a serious problem), it may be time to seek some professional help.

If the therapist is out of your budget and you’ll be flying solo, there are plenty of resources out there. This includes everyone’s research on sex with prominent sex educators like Justin Lemieux (author of “The Psychology of Human Sexuality”) and Janet Hardy (author of Queer, Bisexuality, and Polysexuality of “Sex-Led Women”) ).

It’s also worth noting that being able to openly discuss your quirks or fetishes with your partner may make your sex life more enjoyable. Of all the factors that influence sexual satisfaction, the most important factor is whether you can be honest with your partner about your sexual desires, a study found.

In fact, gender expert Kate Sloan, author of 101 Weird Things Even You Can Do, says people who fall into eccentricities “have been found to be mentally healthier than the average person”. According to Sloan, “Some people’s fetishes can be their entire sexuality, and for people who don’t have any fetishes, this effectively plays ‘vanilla’ (non-perverted) sex in their lives. But, for others, the fetish is just a special interest they engage in at some point.”

Whatever the definition, being comfortable with your sexuality is the most important thing. Life is too short to be ashamed of your sexuality. Unless it’s your fetish.

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